Stan the Shark

I am here at Miss Lucille's Gossip Parlour in Seaside drinking an overpriced frappucino with a noisy air conditioner rattling overhead. The past few days I have been fortunate enough to stay at the Hilton of Sandestin, probably my favourite place on the globe.

This morning I went down to get a delightful continental breakfast while the rest of my family was in the room getting ready to leave for this place they call Seaside, and also a state park beach. One thing about the beach that I have always felt, or rather not felt, is the need to go out and do stuff. I am so perfectly content with sitting around and listening to wind and waves and beach and watching seagulls, and especially people (aren't they so interesting?). Anyhow, my family is across the street in the Smiling Fish Cafe, eating a brunch, i think, since it is not yet 12 o'clock and they did not avail themselves of a continental breakfast.

One of my favorite pasttimes while in a place like the hilton, is watching these crazy folks that go out in the gulf and swim. Being a seasoned fisherman (ha) i know better than to stick my white butt out there where the sharks and other things like to eat. I remember one summer my dear mother bought me swim trunks with little tropical fish all over them. I was mortified that my bathing apparel resembled a fishing lure! I figured that the poison in my brownbag lunch during the school year was not working fast enough.

But yeah, we used to reel in some pretty mean looking stuff within sight of the beach. Namely Cobia, which is what a cross between a giant catfish and a shark would look like.

The other day I was spending the weekend with my friend Derek, at his beachhouse. We both like to fish, so naturally that takes up the majority of our time, as long as we are not playing Monopoly, in which Derek usually takes all my colorful pieces of paper, or air hockey, in which I usually beat Derek.

So it was about midnight and Derek and I were fishin' by a few sodium streetlights at the very end of his dock. His house is out on the bay where the seas are calmer and shallower, and the things that might eat you don't swim there as often. We were using light rods to make the bluefish fights more interesting, casting out whatever bait was left over from the day's fishing. They were starting to go to bed, I think, because about 11:00 they stopped biting as aggressively.

Then, in three feet of dirty bath water, a five foot shark lumbered by at the light's edge, taking no notice of us, the pier, our bait, or our bulging eyeballs. After a few seconds of double takes, Derek and I looked at each other and I said, Dude, we gotta catch that. No, you don't want to mess with those. Yes we do; I'm finding a rod.

medium rod, spinning reel, 20lb test, 80lb leader, circle hook, half a bluefish. caaasssst. splash. silence.

Me: do you think he'll come back?

Derek: idunno, man.

Me: should we cast it out further?

Derek: nah.

Me: do you think we can catch him?

Derek: maybe.

After three minutes of silence, which equates to an hour in nervous shark-catching time, Stan (that's what molly named the shark) de-dumpy dumps back over to our pier, passes the decapitated bluefish, and then turns a 180 and dissapears under the murk. Within nanoseconds, and I'm not sure how long that is, the slack is gone from the line and that rod tip is bent like a mickey d's logo.

Derek and I were still trying to figure out if we were dreaming or not while Stan was making a break for the big bay bridge. Tighten the drag, man! If we do it anymore the line'll break! Don't jerk 'im around, let 'im get tired! He's gonna spool us! I'll go get the camera and everybody. I'll have him on the dock by the time you get back. haha...

The Bradley Family and guests come out to the pier.

You got a shark? Are you sure it's a shark? How big is it? Where is he? What kind? Is it a great white?

We gotta get around the pier! he's movin! Hand me the rod! there we go. he's getting a lot closer. at least this way we won't lose as much line. I can see the fin! grab the gaff! we're gonna get 'im! *snap*